Change is good... all the time

If you watch nothing else in your life with a mission for change, watch this 20 minute clip with a direction of where our wisdom may work for us. in my personal experience, this is how i feel. this “game” that i am forced to play in order to do what is right some days knocks the wind out of my sails. i operate on the idea that we need a huge change in not how we live, love, and work, but in WHY we do it. last night during our family meeting, we touched on grandma Melernea’s gold kaiser card. Barry Schwartz talks about the janitors who have the wisdom to do their jobs well with the intent of offering caring service to others. when i think of my grandmother and the fact that she did housekeeping for as many years as she had when others ask if she is a doctor, the answer should be “no” with a reply of “better”. like the janitor who cleaned the floor in the room of the comatose man TWICE because the father who had been sitting vigil for 3 months didn’t see it done and was upset; like the housekeeper who did not vacuum because another family who had spent a great deal of time in a waiting room were asleep; and for the janitor who stopped mopping the floor so that a patient who was trying to regain strength could walk the halls. we have to remember that so much of what makes this world a fantastic place comes from those who society looks at as the bottom of the pickings pile. we should never give up hope that doctors, lawyers, politicians, and yes even businessmen on Wall Street can reach for greatness by being more like janitors and housekeepers and persons who work with the public and do their jobs well and with wisdom simply… because… it … is … right Goddess
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The Cold's Prayer*

*recited in a rhythm close to "The Lord's Prayer" Our head cold, who art in sinus, how did you get so bold? Thy dripping nose thy ice cold toes Theraflu and Nyquil's in the closet. Give us this sneeze our daily dread and forgive us our coughing as we forgive those who have coughed against us And lead us not into the ER but deliver us from dry tissue noses for thine is the hot tea, the vitamin C, the Zicam Now and forever. Amen.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Fuckwad...Fuckiedoodle...Homewrecking Ikea!

Cleaning this house is going to take a combination of Freecycle, a yard sale from Hades and some Zanax to get done! There is no way I am going to get this house cleaned with all that is in it. I am going to have to start tossing things.
Then I think to myself. What am I going to do with all my books? My lost socks? My clothes that don't fit? my Time? My energy?
I am so sure that there will come a time in the future (whenever that may be) when I need those books for PowerPoint 2000, that they are still in my closet collecting dust.

*do you hear screeching car wheels?*

Well I sure as hell do and it is fine time this house gets a real tearing down.

That little lady on Poltergeist was wrong too so I make note to myself not to call on her. I don't think she would be worth my money.

I came home today and stared and stared at my house.

Laundry in the living room. My work desk items packed from preparing for a strike blocking the patio door. My TV room is just a mess with nothing. It is neither messy, organized or orderly. I don't have a word for that room.

My son's room is full of his mess and I have committed myself to turning that over to his great-uncle for maintenance.

The spare bedroom just begs for attention, but I can't get that far.

My bedroom is where I need to start. But do I want to strip it down to the bare walls and start over or just rearrange it.
Let me start by saying that I have rearranged this room at least 6 times in the past 4 years. Rearrangement is not working. The furniture is cool, but I have just too much stuff in there. I have not enough closet space and the clothes I try to squeeze in there I can't squeeze into myself, so why do I continue to keep them around?

Shit!

I have a 3 day weekend and I am going to dig in. Just one room.
My bedroom.

Anyone up for a yard sale?

...

...

...

Anyone???

Goddess














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Non-Custodial Parent relief my arse!

Once again, I am faced with another Sunday on a 1st and 3rd weekend.
My son leaves for his fathers in the late afternoon of saturday and I pick him up on the early evening of Sunday.

some folks would say that I should be happy to have the time off but what most people don't realize is that the time my son is at his fathers house , I have barely enough time to think let alone, try to get all of the things that I have neglected over the past 2 weeks and get the rest that I so badly need to catch up on.

I slept in this morning until 10am. I then went to cut the front lawn. It is now noon and I am sitting here at my computer, looking at a living room with all the shit on the floor swept into a pile by the patio door, three loads of laundy to do and 1 load of towels.

As I turn my head to the left and look behind me, I see a kitchen that is just begging for attention. I have two bathrooms that I just shut the door on most days because they are at the bottom of a monumental list.

No time for myself pisses me off. I am stretched beyond what should be allowed for single parents.

This is not how single parenting should be. That is why it is better to raise a child together and equally, even if you are not together anymore.

I watched a little TV last night read a little of a new book I would love to finish sometime in the next century and hit the sack.

Now I have weeds to pull on my patio and the laundry and the kitchen and the tv room. did I forget to mention the tv room. Jeezus Mary Mother of God.
That is another nightmare.

I want to say f*ck it and head on out to the movies but I know this stuff needs to get done.
Bad thing is that I only have 4.5 hours left in my day to get anything done because I have to leave my house to head downtown to pick up my son by 5pm.

I have a frriend , a lovely friend, Kathy who caught me and called me on my sh*t by recognizing that I never ask for help, so now I have to allow her to help me because I am at a level of overwhelm where I want to say "fuck it" all the time. She is right.

I will ask for help.
I can ask for help.
There are so many things that i just give up on.


Oh yeah... I CAN do Algebra *thanks Terrie*

correcction... 4.25 hours now.

Goddess






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insight

More and more i am finding it necessary to reflect on life. As i sit here under on on beautiful maple tree on my break at work, i think about how good life is and how nice it is to be able to put your feet in the grace.
Take naps when we need to. Not just taking them when we have the time. We have to make time for these things. I don't think we should work 40 hours plus on on week. I have on on friend who works three da)s on on week and goes to school the rest of the time. She may be without time, but she is working on her dream. What are many of us doing? Working to eat, to pay rent, to keep the lights on sometimes.

As i sit here under this beautiful maple tree, i am glad that i can, but sad that i can't make it last longer.

*sigh*

G

religion

just because religion is not attached, does not make it wrong.

you may have God floating around in you.
it is not necessarily something that you want to share, but you know it is in YOU.

we were taught the differences between right and wrong. all of those teachings are based in the bible. just because they are taught without the namesake God, Jesus,Christ, Lord., does not make them wrong.

granted, there is a deeper meaning and understanding when you look at it from the standpoint of what the lesson is or of the mere fact that we were loved so much that we have been given all of our chances to learn the most important lesson in life.

hell,
even E.T. the extraterrestrial said it best "Beeeeeeeeeeee Gooooooooooood!"

ya know?

g