December 6, 2008

lightening my baggage load a little

Life is beginning to look up.

I really got down to the meat and potatoes of my baggage concerns.

A huge chunk of my dating woes fall into the category of the fact that I cannot date Black men.

It turns out that I CAN but I choose NOT to. That is a problem now isn't it?


I cannot sit and complain about how little I date when I have effectively cut my dating pool in half at least by limiting this group of men.

I am now going to have to work on how I feel about dating Black men because there is nothing wrong with them. I am looking at them and blocking them into an entire race of people that I don't know.
I have not met every last Black person on the planet so I really cannot say that I am not attracted to Black men. I cannot say that all black mean are going to treat me bad. I am not saying that all Black men are uneducated.

What I have done is take all of the Black people that I have met who I did not have a good mix with since elementary school and lumped them all into the same category.

I am guilty of using the reference of "those people". I have found that when you fear something, you want to do your best to distance yourself from it. I do not fear Black men.

What I fear the most is opening up myself to life and risking getting hurt again. I don't want to have to learn any more lessons right now. I would like to think that I have learned all tat I can, but I am not really old enough to say that I have learned anything.

not necessarily shame on me. but use your brain more is certainly an admonishment I am willing to put in my "in" box.
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