February 24, 2012

come together... right now... over me!

...and our children

I have long been an advocate of teachers

i have long been an advocate of students

i have long been a proponent of the current educational system

the trouble that i have is that if i want to make the system better, then sacrifices will have to be made.

when it comes to battles of improving education, someone always has to be right and someone always has to be wrong. is that really necessary? to that, i say no.

i truly believe that it is not the idea of "my idea is more right" but the idea of "lets see if we can get it all together and do better for the education of our children".


SYNERGY goes a long way. i learned in a college level Afro-Caribbean dance class that in order to make a dance speak, you had to combine many elements. my son goes to a public charter school and i will say in all his 6 years of public, private, parochial, and other charter schools, he is getting the best offering for advancement.


guess what??????
his teachers are not union members.
i am a full supporter of unions that work, but i think the way teachers are treated is deplorable and the trickle down is uneducated children who will do society no good in the next 20 years.
we have to pay teachers what they are worth, reward them for what they do, and offer consequences for those who don't meet the requirements of the future of America.
hiding behind a union who will hold you up in the system even if you should NEVER be teaching children or tenure because you did your time is disappointing to me.

will we lose people in the fray? absolutely.

but there must be sacrifices for growth to happen. think about these things:

1. dendrite pruning

2. rose bushes

3. young peach trees

Goddess

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I'm just gone sit here.... cleanin' this here gun!

he has a point. people are always asking me what i do differently as a parent because they think i am using some 'modern' parenting techniques. what they don't know is that i just do it old school. i know that it works on some children but i have my way and they have theirs. i have to say i cheered in my office chair when he unloaded the clip into her laptop! my dad would have done the same thing (to my sister of course as i was the perfect child *snark*) . it is what it is and it takes time, patience, and prayers (or spells, or whatever alternative higher power requests you need to use) to raise a child to be a productive adult. does it scare the hell out of me that i have to use methods that may upset others? yes because what i do is what i would like to think is my own business, but i know that social services, police, teachers, and basically any mandated reporter will turn me in because it is just what they are required to do.
to that i say wooooosaaaaaah! i keep it moving and i keep it real.
does that make me a bad parent?
ask me in 15 years and ask this dad in 10.
i think the proof will be in the pudding (or in the self sufficient college grad and/or productive member of society)


Goddess

check out some of his posts after the fact. he's not budging or changing his stance... way to stand your ground dad!

http://t.co/4oCw91rv

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*sings like Beyonce* Say my name, say my name

my personal thoughts on why you must have balls made of kryptonite if you are going to talk shit about another group of people who you don't know.

word to the wise.....

"if you don't have anything nice to say. keep your mouth shut or MAKE SOME MOTHER FUCKING CHANGE..."

there has been some controversy in my local school district's police force and they are doing what they can to have it cleared up. apparently there was some misappropriation going on and it is being brought under control ultimately by an investigation brought on by the department. things will be okay soon.

a post about the writing in the local paper, The Sacramento Bee, was on point about how truths were twisted to put the police force and those in charge in a bad light.

but a person came in and pulled on my chain. a person posted and talked a lot of shit about a group who might be at odds with some of the goings on with the police department. he was vague to a fault..... read on.....


"There is one community within the district that is struggling with both the rule of law and with the ability to find their way in a larger community. This doesn't mean that they are bad people. They are simply struggling to find their way. I strongly suggest that they begin finding it by visiting those communities that are further along that road of community service. Discover the tools necessary to move forward rather than relying on "some" organizations which pretend to "do the work for the individual."

 

my reply

if you don't mind me asking, of which community do you speak?
i take slight offense to this comment in which you point a finger, but keep the offending party cloaked under hints of distrust and smacks of self-imposed immunity.

The use of the word "they" in my book is about as ignorant as the use of the the phrase "you people" ... please let me know because i, and many that i know, are willing to seek out this group of persons who are struggling to find their way.

i finally found out the community that he was talking about and i can 100% understand the distrust. but usually we see communities that fall apart because those who want a better life for themselves cannot look to helping all.

this writers request was for people in this neighborhood to come on down to his neck of the woods....i will bet you all the money in the United States Treasury coffers that there is no way they would allow people from this community into their houses. i see calls for the police to come out to their neighborhood to patrol for potential predatory perps.


let's take for instance, a neighborhood in Mobile AL. my mother lives there. she is a black woman. a majority of her neighbors are black but there are a few VERY old neighbors who are shall we say.... NOT BLACK! these not black neighbors are the remnants of a neighborhood that at one point in time was not black until people of color wanted better for their families and decided that a move to the suburbs was in order. my mom says it is common place that when the blacks move in the not blacks move out. my mom cemented this when she talked to me about a home health nurse she had when she had a surgery. the home health aide was a white woman and could not understand for the life of her why she was helping my mother who is a black woman. it came down to the coverage that my mother had. obviously, they had NEVER seen a black woman with that kind of coverage where i come from we call that middle class health coverage. this woman was a lost cause and had to double check a couple of times because there was no way that a black woman could have a white home health aide. THAT'S JUST NOT THE WAY IT WORKS IN THE SOUTH. hmmmmmmm

what was a i rambling about? right.

calling someone out their name. respect is not given it is earned, but you cannot draw a line in the sand if the other is not facing you.

Goddess

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February 22, 2012

On the topic of Black History Month

i still believe, in this day and age, that we have to be cautious about some of the things we say about some black people because many of us can take it personally. black history month is not a dedication to black people in america. it is a month in which everyone has an opportunity to learn about black culture from somewhere other than the schools because so much has been omitted from textbooks.

and the last time i checked, Irish folks got the month of March (and have since '91)
hell guide dogs got a month too (september)
to round off the year we have Indigenous Indian & Alaska Native heritage month in november
what gets the most publicity is Black History month. why? because people are always complaining about it and wondering why white folks don't get their own month.

as far as i am concerned, they had a month that lasted well over 200 years. i think they can share the calendar a bit.

just my opinion

Goddess

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February 20, 2012

A word on discipline from Goddess... to bend or not to bend?

THAT is the question.

should we as parents get totally bent out of shape when we punish our children because of a worry that we might upset them?

this is a question that i toy with all the time.

i have a child who is painfully thoughtful, smart, sensitive, and intuitive.

does that mean that i should tailor my discipline methods to cause him the least amount of harm?

does this method of parenting raise concerns with the increase in the rates of drinking among single parents?

the goddess ponders.

Goddess

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February 19, 2012

Ask NOT what your country can do for you...

There should be no religion in our government. The people who govern may be religious, but that should not sway their decisions. As well, lawmakers should not run on the premise of morals and faith. Though we want them to lead and live by example and be strong in their faith, we should want from them not to judge others by what they do and enact policies that are FAIR to all. There is so much more that we can do as a nation.. We can speak up, we can act out, we can find an audience. but it must start in the home first, community second, and government last. The people we have the ability to touch are the closest to us. When we start small, we can achieve great things. Goddess Creative Commons License
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February 17, 2012

Remember what you learned in Kindergarten?

i'm cool on AZ. regardless of your creed, your race, your political affiliation.......
if you were in preschool and you did this...

           1. you would be in the "time out" chair in no time!

           2. we also encourage using your words, which i believe the President did in saying that he wasn't happy with things she had written about him. 

           3. giving hugs.


Guess what we also advocate in preschool?

            4. SAYING YOU ARE SORRY. oh yeah!

it is far easier to accept and respect those who may appear different if we mind our words like we mind our hearts. the person on the inside is who we should train our mouths to speak of.

Goddess

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February 12, 2012

On the topic of Birth Control and MMM MY Uterus...

Thank you president Obama for making the policy shift on employer provided birth control. I am not sure how anyone else could be upset with this move. The bishops at this point, should recognize that the choice of any Catholic women to use birth control is now between them and their God. Under the first amendment churches have been excluded. There is nothing left to say or do. It is as it should be. Now for the last time, can you guys stay out of my pants and leave my uterus alone! SHEESH!!! Goddess Creative Commons License
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February 4, 2012

the goddess raps on Evolution of empathy and the ways that it’s shaped our society.

watch this. this is how i have always thought and i swear when they stated talking about mirror neurons, i was like FUCK YEAH! i am floored. it is possible, and as the Lorax said….. unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. it’s not.” we truly are a society of caring beings. we have to find ways to get back to that. when i see glimpses of that change, i just want to put them into boxes and find a way to replicate it over and over again and sneak that shit into the water supply. ya feel me? Creative Commons License
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February 2, 2012

take your pick asshole, asphyxiation or the mouth of an active volcano?

take your pick asshole, asphyxiation or the mouth of an active volcano? I have been trying so hard to maintain a certain level of calm with regard to some of the things my son’s father does and i guess i have reached the end of my proverbial rope. let me nail down some facts…. 1. been divorced almost 9 years 2. been raising genius XY most on my own for those 9 years 3. genius XY was a vegetarian from birth 4. all that changed when i added fish 5. changed some more when i added chicken to our diet somewhere between 5. and now, dad decided that it would be practical to sway genius XY from eating chicken. his plan: 1. constant discussion about how i am not following his plan of raising genius XY; i.e., raising him catholic and not TM style, raising him as a black child and not a white one (stew on this one for a while), not keeping him away from his ‘dangerous’ family members (in quotes for a reason), and not keeping him a vegetarian. 2. making genius XY feel guilty for eating meat 3. having genius XY watch a film “Meet Your Meat” from PETA on the care of farm raised chickens, aka chickens slaughtered for human consumption. now back to my list… 6. chicken is cheap 7. chicken is easier to prepare 1,000,000 different ways 8. chicken is tasty i have been cool, calm, and collected long enough but i guess i just have to vent here because i can’t change who my son’s father is. i can just change how i react to him. as a result, Goddess has decided to let it all out in my blog, then keep it movin’. genius XY watching ‘Meet Your Meat’ has caused absolute CHAOS at my fucking dinner table. not an evening has gone by when i haven’t had to sit down to eat a meal of chicken to watch my child pick and nibble at his meal short of tears because he has so much trouble eating The Chickens. he is all fucked up over parts of the chicken and parts of what he sees of the film while he is eating. did his father not recognize that this would happen? abso-fuckin-lutely not!he meant best but he doesn’t feed him meat at his home so he doesn’t have to deal with this. perhaps he thought that milo would just make a decision to stop eating meat like Lisa Simpson did and all would be good in the hood. downside to this is that genius XY is not a able to give up chicken because his mother buys chicken that was alright until “Meet Your Meat”. tonight i’d had it and i explained to him why i am always so cranky at dinner time. it is because his father has committed a terrorist act on the sanctity of my home and dropped a table side incendiary device onto my dining room and kitchen. i feel like i am punishing him everytime i feed him chicken and i can’t afford to go out and buy the tender veggie nuggets or make him tofu because he will then be VERY hungry before bedtime because he is a growing boy!!!!!! i want to choke the shit out of this man on a good day and drop him into the mouth of an active volcano on days like this. image Goddess (yes, the very angry one) Creative Commons License
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was i wrong to decide to have an only child?

Milo: mom? Goddess: huh? Milo: i got a question for you. Goddess: (mutters under her breath) i guess i can't say no. yeah go ahead Milo: if you had the choice, would you be a vampire or a werewolf? Goddess: i guess i would pick the werewolf Milo: (walks away dejected. only had a philosophical rant to share if i had answered to the former) Milo: (pokes head back in doorway) that's okay, because you don't have to die. vampires have to be dead for like a whole day. Goddess: (smiles) god i wish this kid had siblings. Goddess Creative Commons License
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January 31, 2012

Why listen to me? I'm just your mother.....

I sat and watched him all night, eating like a puppy who has just discovered a new food. I can't count how many times I gave him "the look". He kept on putting the food in his mouth. When the food is good, sometimes it is hard to stop. Ice cream, cookies, cake , pie He reminded me of the kid from that Charlie and the chocolate factory, you know the one who got stuck in the Chocolate River tube because he was so fat? yeah. that kid was MY kid on Christmas. He rolled around on the floor like a drunken midget and finally found his way to bed (he camped with me because i knew what was coming but decided that i didn't want a repeat of the Jimi Hendrix episode) So he blew chunks around 1am. all i have to say is yuck, yuck, yuck and double yuck.*sigh* His uncle and i did some direction to help him clean up. i had to stay clear of the bathroom for at least 15 minutes because of the smell. *sigh* I have found that you can only nag so much then you just have to wait and see and hope that they learn. Let's just pray he did... Goddess Creative Commons License
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January 28, 2012

Change is good... all the time

If you watch nothing else in your life with a mission for change, watch this 20 minute clip with a direction of where our wisdom may work for us. in my personal experience, this is how i feel. this “game” that i am forced to play in order to do what is right some days knocks the wind out of my sails. i operate on the idea that we need a huge change in not how we live, love, and work, but in WHY we do it. last night during our family meeting, we touched on grandma Melernea’s gold kaiser card. Barry Schwartz talks about the janitors who have the wisdom to do their jobs well with the intent of offering caring service to others. when i think of my grandmother and the fact that she did housekeeping for as many years as she had when others ask if she is a doctor, the answer should be “no” with a reply of “better”. like the janitor who cleaned the floor in the room of the comatose man TWICE because the father who had been sitting vigil for 3 months didn’t see it done and was upset; like the housekeeper who did not vacuum because another family who had spent a great deal of time in a waiting room were asleep; and for the janitor who stopped mopping the floor so that a patient who was trying to regain strength could walk the halls. we have to remember that so much of what makes this world a fantastic place comes from those who society looks at as the bottom of the pickings pile. we should never give up hope that doctors, lawyers, politicians, and yes even businessmen on Wall Street can reach for greatness by being more like janitors and housekeepers and persons who work with the public and do their jobs well and with wisdom simply… because… it … is … right Goddess Creative Commons License
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January 27, 2012

start watching this at 1: 45 This one will bring tears to your eyes! i see music as the saving grace for our nations of the world. just … imagine… Bobby McFerrin walks into a UN meeting and leads them in this demonstration of togetherness and cooperation. no need for interpreters, armed guards, lobbyists, nuclear weapons….. just hearts and sound. music from within. why is this so hard to imagine? now listen to it again from the beginning with your eyes closed and see this happen. if we all do this… it will Goddess

January 26, 2012

m m m m myyyy UTERUS!

Amen halelujiah!

His name is PRESIDENT Obama. Not Obama!!!

Where did you learn your manners? Had a conversation the other week with some buddies on FB… i was taking issues with people referring to the POTUS by his last name only and i got some feedback that didn’t change my mind but gave me even more reason to appreciate the people whom i interact with on a daily basis. read on… my thoughts were all over the place good thing this blog is titled “Ramblings of a single parent goddess. if you want to disrespect, drop it like you are talking about your dog, but out of respect for the office of the president of the united states, we have to set the example. i think it goes without saying that the use of the word “nigger” (to be fair, this goes for “spic”, “wop”, “kike”, and a bevy of other derogatory statements) has fallen into the cracks of abuse… abuse meant with no disrespect. isn’t it funny how that phrase “and i mean no disrespect” is often followed by a disrespectful comment? even though it may be said that it is an unkind word and people chose to use phrases like “the ‘N’ word” in an attempt to save face, when a child hears it at home, they will eventually use it out in the street. what a child learns is from the adults in their world and that is not specifically mom and dad. we should be painfully mindful of the fact that Mr. Obama is President Obama and respectfully use the proper name. should we remain firm in our dedication to tossing doo doo at our president, we may want to use something more like. “that old goat President Obama” but then again, we wouldn’t say that about our momma, big momma, grand daddy, or even a priest or teacher for that matter. i heard it on NPR today. the hosts and guest on the show referred to the president by his proper title, but you could tell which callers were not particularly fond of our president. they referred to him as ‘obama’. now if it was your pet, you could say it like that……. “Dammit, obama shit on the rug again!” i am guilty of heading down that path with former President Bush 2.0. I was corrected by a child who no longer wanted to hear his parents shout at the TV. i admit, i was disrespectful and i meant it but i wasn’t thinking about the repercussions that my child was experiencing by my rotten minded attitude toward a person in that office. i think i am just rambling and this probably belongs on my blog, but i am feeling a little bit fed up today with all the shit talk. **** now for comedic purposes, i would suppose we have to let certain things go for the sake of artistic expression; perhaps in the case of Felonious Munk and his “Stop it B!” video blogs. but i still believe that when you watch his entire clip, he is talking serious mess but still refers to the President as President Obama…….. http://youtu.be/ tRmZ9zH-mYM check it! i’m just saying… **** **** and yes i am talking about that “something” that i hear in the way the president is called. i am just as guilty as the next person using a name without a title. it is just that little something that i sense and i get bent out of shape. i don’t nitpick certain people because they are civilized and bring up good points. but if i hear a disrepectful tone i do reserve the right to ask for clarification. with that said, it is the “something” that i heard in a person’s tone that brought to mind a person wrinkling their nose, raising a corner of their lip and running for the Purell when talking about President Obama. **** have i mentioned that i love that my friends are made up of such a diverse group of people? Creative Commons License
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January 5, 2012

Goddess Rambles about Charter Schools

i do see some successes in the charter schools in my area. there are populations that have been painfully under-served. in my case, Black students... yes i know there are many other students who fall into this niche, but i will only talk about what i know. the goal in the school was to give everyone a chance at a quality college-prep educational opportunity. the downside is the proposal was fought like it was the plague. we had a school, the school was empty. we were not shuffling kids about, we just wanted a place for OUR kids... and we take everyone but hear me out. We had to go grassroots to lift enrollment. we pushed in our churches and through our families and we now have to turn children away. our schools are some of the highest in the state of CA at least if not in the nation for charter schools. now that the schools are doing well, other want to sign up. i was on the waiting list for at least 3 years before my son was admitted. if we could open another school, we would be able to increase enrollment. our high and middle school are on a campus that has the ability to house roughly 2000 students, we have half that. it is almost as if we are being set up to fail because we are successful. there are other schools that have closed down. why not take them over? some points that frighten people. 1. non-union teachers 2. unconventional methods used to educate (sure they don't fit the norm, but they work for certain students and we have studies to back that up) 3. makes other schools in the district look bad (my solution to that is for the regular public schools to step up and make the changes necessary for success for ALL of their students) because a great deal of this is from the perspective of a parent of a gifted child in a public school where there was no GATE program, no instinct from teachers so overwhelmed with extremely high student numbers and lack of funding to manage their classrooms effectively (i rarely fault the educators and i don't fault them in this case either) , I felt i had no choice but to step out of the neighborhood school to help my child succeed. His teacher suggested in the 4th grade that i pull him and try to get him in charter. it is a tough call for administrators, educators, parents, and in many cases even the students. i truly believe that charter schools can be the catalyst for change in the educational system of America. Creative Commons License
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January 4, 2012

The 5 Best Toys of All Time!

1. Stick 2. Box 3. String 4. Cardboard Tube 5. Dirt 'nuff said Goddess

January 3, 2012

The Cold's Prayer*

*recited in a rhythm close to "The Lord's Prayer" Our head cold, who art in sinus, how did you get so bold? Thy dripping nose thy ice cold toes Theraflu and Nyquil's in the closet. Give us this sneeze our daily dread and forgive us our coughing as we forgive those who have coughed against us And lead us not into the ER but deliver us from dry tissue noses for thine is the hot tea, the vitamin C, the Zicam Now and forever. Amen. Creative Commons License
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January 2, 2012

Ceeelooooooooooo Whyyyyy? do y'all think he's "Crazy" now?

my initial reaction on NYE… cee-lo green messed up some lyrics. the world may actually end tomorrow. maybe he did an Xtina moment and flubbed the lyrics. anthems sometimes draw so much charged energy that you can’t help but flub the lyrics. this is a guy who, at some point in his recent resurgence as a pop icon, stood on a stage dressed as a star wars cast member singing about how we think his ass is crazy! all i could believe was that he made a mistake. i was sitting at my SIL’s that night when he came on and what she said stuck with me…
“I hope he practiced”
well… cee-lo changed a word in the Lennon song “Imagine” and i can only believe that Yoko rolled over in her sarcophagus on new year’s eve. folks are mad because what was deduced versus what he actually meant to say didn’t mesh. He meant no harm. ahem, and i quote,
“Yo I meant no disrespect by changing the lyric guys!”
i was married to a devout Lennon worshiper (and i am not saying that lightly), and i couldn’t even think of a joke about the man without the fear of having to scrape my soul off the floor after the tongue lashing i would have received. i still believe that sometimes you have to change the culture to change the Culture (emphasis added. dissertation to be submitted later). the huge idea of religion being a little something for everyone is what might lead one to believe that we need no organized religion at all. i would like to believe that is what mr. lennon meant. if we all had a perfect religion, we would have billions of little churches set up. * cee-lo decided that a slight grammatical change might change the Culture. gotta start small man. next time, baby steps although i know what you meant. rodney kind got a load of crap and people still tease about his simple statement too…
“can’t we all just get along?”
Can the Lennon’s legions be accepting? probably not in this lifetime, but i think my man Cee-Lo is gonna be just fine. Goddess *this is all my own opinion, so it may be true or not. similar to how religion might work better for all as truth on an individual level. Watch it for yourself Creative Commons License
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